Hoe! Robbers are Sneaking Around Downstairs!
by Kirei Blossom
Summary: W-what was that noise? It's the dead of night, everyone's asleep; what could it be? Wait, if everyone's asleep... then that could only mean.. HOEE!!


Happy Birthday, Sakura-chan! (4/1) ^_^  A present for you.  Wow, two stories in the same week.  Anyway.. a story with nothing but pure humor, hee.  Enjoy!

**Hoe.. Robbers are Sneaking Around Downstairs!**

**~*~ Kirei Blossom**

"Hoe?" Sakura's emerald green eyes snapped wide open.  Something had woken her up all of a sudden.  But what was it? Peering over her blankets she looked nervously around the dark room.  Everything was still and quiet, just as it had been several hours ago.  The only sound she could hear was the ticking of her alarm clock.  Reaching up, she glanced at it:  1:00 am.

"Ah, I guess I woke up from something in my dream." Placing the alarm clock back, she snuggled into the sheets and blankets once more, feeling warm and cozy and ready to go back to sleep.

*thump* *screeeeeech*

"Ho-hoe!" Sakura's eyes popped open once more.  "This time it wasn't my imagination!  That was the sound of someone moving the dining room chair downstairs.  But… but everyone's asleep right now – Oniichan and Otousan, they're both in their rooms, fast asleep.  Which could only mean that…" Panicking, Sakura's face turned purple, millions of sweatdrops dotting her head.  Shaking slightly with fear, she eyed the door to her room.  "Which could only mean that someone's broken into the house!  Thieves or robbers.  Hoeeeeeee… what should I do? What should I do? I'm sure brother and father wouldn't wake up from that noise.  Oniichan was really tired from late soccer practice and father didn't get any sleep last night preparing for his meeting.  I'm the only one who heard the chair moving." Scared out of her wits, rivers of tears streamed down her face.  "If I yell, the robbers might come in here and try to hurt me. Hoe, what do those kind of people do anyway? Would they kill me? That would surely hurt.  Hauuu.. Ah!  I know!" Her face cleared up as an idea dawned on her.  "If I just quietly go back to sleep and pretend I don't hear them, then they'll go away soon."

Pulling the blankets over her head, Sakura curled into a ball.  But she was really scared and couldn't stop trembling.  Poking her face out she listened intently.

*step step step* *thump*

"Mou!  Why aren't they leaving? Well at least all three of us:  father, brother and me are safe.  The robbers are still downstairs.  I wonder what they're doing down there.  They might… wait… they're robbers.  That means they steal stuff." Sakura thought for a moment.  "What kind of stuff do they steal though?  I don't know much about thieves.  But if they steal.. then.. what if they steal the TV from the living room? Or if they break the lock to Otousan's study and steal his laptop and camera? Otousan will lose all his information for the meeting in Tokyo.  And when brother comes back home from school everyday, he won't be able to watch TV or listen to the news."

Violently shaking her head, Sakura sat up.  "No, no, no!  Surely, I can't let that happen." She tightly clutched her pillow to her chest.  "I have to make the robbers leave somehow."  She cowered a little.  "But, I'm too scared to go outside alone."

Idea!

"Ano… Kero-chan!" Sakura softly called across the room.  "Kero-chan, wake up!  Kero-chan!  Aiya, no good." She threw her pillow at the desk, aiming for the second drawer.  "Kero-chan, get up… please."

With a slight scraping sound, Kero-chan opened the drawer and peeked over the edge, rubbing one sleepy eye with his tiny paw.  "What's happening, Sakura? Why'd ya wake me up, it's not even morning yet.  There isn't any aura of a Clow card nearby either.  You interrupted my good dream.  Sigh.. Okanomiyaki with soba – modayaki!  Yummy!  I'm going back to slee—"

"No, you're not, Kero-chan." Sakura jumped out of bed and plucked him out of the drawer.  "I think someone's broken into the house."

Kero-chan stopped wiggling to get free and tilted his head to the side. "Who?"

"Robbers!"

"Whaaaaa~? They might steal all the food!"

"Kero-chan!  Don't you ever think of anything other than food?"

"But food is yummy, and I like yummy things."

Sakura marched to her bedroom door and with trembling hands, reached for the doorknob.  "Now, Kero-chan, go downstairs and check if any robbers are down there.  And be absolutely sure to look in ALL the corners – especially behind the couch, and under the dining table and the desk in father's study.  They might hear you so they could hide, you know.  Look everywhere… don't forget behind the doors too.  Now go!  And don't come back until you've looked everywhere."

"But—" It was too late to protest though.  Sakura had already thrown him into the hallway and closed the door with a soft click.

Groaning, Kero-chan flapped his wings and silently floated across the hall and down the dark stairs.  "Awww man, why does Sakura make me, the great Kerberos-sama, do all these weird things? Check for robbers… As if I don't have better things to do.  I deserve more food from now on for all these extra things she makes me do.  Sigh.  Sometimes I wish Sakura were more like.. what was the name of that manga she borrowed from Tomoyo? 'Fushigi Yuugi.'  Right.  I wish she was more like that Miaka girl, with an insatiable love for food.  Ahhhhh!  That would be the happiest life." He pictured Sakura pigging out on one end of a fully laden dining table and him pigging out at the other.  "Haa, perfect bliss." 

Kero-chan entered the living room, his head somewhat drooping from sleep.  "Anyone here?" Everything was just as it should been been; he tipsily flew all around the room, checking all the corners.

"What a waste of time… My good dream of food.  Noodles, yummy.  Huh?" He stopped in midair when he noticed something strange.  "The kitchen light is on." Quietly, he hovered over to the door and peered inside.  "Man, is this what Sakura was all worked up for?" he mumbled.  "It's only her 'niichan getting stuff out of the fridge and fixing himself a…. ohhhhhhh!!!!"

Kero-chan's tiny eyes sparkled with delight as he eyed the masterpiece of a sandwich: a great big mound of lettuce, tomatoes, ham and cheese.

"The perfect combination!  Wow.  Sakura always insists on putting onions in when she makes me a sandwich.  Yuck." Putting one paw to his chin, his eye glinted mysteriously.

Touya put the plate and a glass of milk on the table.  He sighed.  "I hate late soccer practices.  It makes me feel so hungry afterwards.  Sheesh, I'm sounding like Yuki." Turning around, he started putting everything back in the cupboards and fridge and cleaned up the counter.  "And I've got class duty in the morning too."  Stifling a yawn he sat down at the table and reached for his sandwich…

… which wasn't there.  For a second he stared at the empty plate, the crumbs staring boldly back at him.  Then slowly, his eyes narrowed and he turned his head towards the door.

"That freaky cotton stuffed doll." He punched his left hand with sheer anger.  "Sakura owes me another sandwich." He grabbed his glass of milk and emptied it in one gulp, silently fuming and deciding to put that yellow doll in the washing machine sometime.  It deserved to go through a nice spin cycle.  "Grr.. All that work for nothing.  Kaijuu needs to tame that thing; leaving it loose like that.  Hmph!"

Touya crossed his arms.  His eyes fell on a striped brown paper bag lying on the table.  It was labeled 'Sakura.' 

"Well, serves her right.  I'm hungry." Picking up the paper bag, he looked briefly inside and then started devouring the bag's contents.  

"Hahahahahahahaha, that was the best sandwich I ever ate in my life!" Kero-chan flew into Sakura's room, massaging his tight belly with a tiny paw.  "Now that's what a sandwich should be like.  Everything in the right proportion - not like some people who put loads of onio—wah!"

Sakura had leapt on him and shook him violently by his tiny shoulders.  "What did you see??" she hissed.  "Any robbers?"

"Nope.  No robbers." Kero smiled sleepily, starting to float backwards across the dark room.  After such a scrumptious meal, all he wanted was sleep.

"Are you sure?" Sakura caught him by the tail and pulled him back.  Hanging upside down by his tail, he swung freely in the air.  Sakura peered closer at his… almost intoxicated-looking face.  What was wrong with him? "Kero-chan, are you alright?"

"Haha ha haaaaa~" came the happy reply.

Unnerved, Sakura stared at her guardian.  Could the robbers have drugged him? That seemed like the only plausible reason.  

"Oh no!  Kero-chan, snap out of it." She bounced him a couple times like a yoyo, but it wasn't helping.  

What kind of people were roaming around downstairs? They were definitely dangerous.  Shuddering, Sakura looked at the door.  Yes, there was no helping it.

Softly as he could, Touya tiptoed up the stairs, and crossing the dark hall, he entered his room closing the door with a click.  Two seconds later, another door in the hallway was pulled ajar and a large, scared emerald eye peeked out.  Everything was quiet, but… she had to be sure.  Violently shaking from head to toe, Sakura crept out of her room, her hands clenched around her pink staff.  Kero lay sprawled on her shoulder, eyes closed, but mumbling something now and then.  Sakura didn't understand a word he was saying.

Reaching the banister, she glanced down.  Everything was dark.  She gulped and tightening her hold on her staff, climbed down the stairs.  Was there anyone down here, possibly hiding? She looked behind the living room door – nothing.  Could they be… in father's study? She grasped the knob and twisted it – nope, it was still locked.  Sakura sighed a sigh of relief and continued checking all the corners and nooks and crannies of the house, half expecting someone to pounce on her at any moment.  But everything was silent and all the things were exactly where they should be.

"Kero-chan, there's no one here." She whispered.

"I told you there were no robbers, Sakura." He replied sleepily – the first sensible sentence she got out of him in a while.  "Just go back to bed."

"I will." Sakura switched on the kitchen light.  All quiet and in order.  "I'm still sure I didn't imagine those sounds though.  Maybe the robbers left before stealing anything, don't you think?"

"Mmm.. cheese, tomatoes, yummy.  Hahaaa~"

"Kero-chan, I'm seriously starting to worry about you.  Are you sure nobody drugged you?"

"Nah~" the lump on her shoulder sighed.

Standing next to the dining table, Sakura cast one last look around.  Even if there had been anyone here they were long gone. But why would robbers leave without stealing anything? Strange.

"Oh, I forgot to put this in the fridge." Sakura's eyes landed on the brown striped paper bag lying on the table.  Yesterday, she'd spent a large amount of her allowance to buy those double-dip chocolate fudge brownies from the bakery to treat her friends.  She'd only looked at them once, but now the urge to try just one was too tempting.  Gingerly, she picked up the bag and looked inside.

"Hoeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" Sakura clapped a hand over her mouth, remembering it was the middle of the night and everyone was asleep.

"What, what happened?" Kero asked, suddenly alert.

"Where'd they go?"

"Who?" He stared at her strangely.

"I bought twenty double-dip chocolate fudge brownies on my way back from school yesterday.  And now they're not here!"

"Whaaaaat?" Kero flew over to inspect the bag.  "There's not a single one left!  How could you, Sakura?" great big teardrops started flowing down his face.

"Kero-chan, you ate them, didn't you!" Sakura's eyes glinted dangerously.

"Me? I didn't even know they were here.  Why were you hiding them from me?"

"I was going to give four to you tomorrow.. I mean, today; a surprise."

"My brownies!" Kero-chan cried, rubbing his paw on the inside of the bag and licking the crumbs.  "My delicious fudge brownies~ He looked accusingly at Sakura.  "Its all your fault."

"How is it my fault?" Sakura gawked.

"If you hadn't hidden them from me and told me straightaway about the food, this wouldn't've happened.  I would've guarded them with my life!  Don't you know you can't leave food just lying around like that?  Obviously, you have no appreciation for snacks." He crossed his arms and floated in front of her.

"What? If I told you about them, there'd be none left."

"Well, there aren't any left anyway!" For a second, Sakura and Kero stared at each other.  It was even worse than that fight they had gotten into which had made Kero run away from home.  Zap, zap, zap.  Sparks flew between their eyes.

"Well, the question now is: where did they go?"

Kero raised an eyebrow.  "In your black hole of a stomach!"

Sakura clenched her fist.  "I didn't eat a single one!!  And it's YOUR stomach that's a black hole.  But the damage is done; now I won't have any to treat my friends in school.  They were really expensive too."

"I know you did this on purpose." Kero flew over, looking greedily at the empty bag.  "You like to torment me.  Brownies are my favorite food.  I wish you were more like Miaka."

"Miaka? You read my manga without asking?"

"It's not your manga, it's Tomoyo's!"

"Still!  You weren't supposed to read it!  How dare you compare me with Miaka." Zap, zap.  There was silence for awhile.  Soon, Sakura noted that she was being very mean.  

"Well… If you didn't eat the brownies, Kero-chan," Sakura said softly.  "And I didn't either, then… where are they?"  Suddenly, Sakura's eyes widened.  "Oh my, Kero-chan….!!!"

Upstairs, oblivious to it all, the young man rolled over in his sleep, snoring loudly.

~*~*~*~

Next morning…

"Sakura-chan, you don't look too good.  Did you sleep well last night?" Tomoyo asked, concerned.  

Syaoran looked up curiously from his desk.  "What happened?"

Sakura looked tearfully at her friends.  "Hauuuuu, it was terrible!"

"What?" Tomoyo blinked.

"Yesterday, robbers broke into our house and they stole all the twenty double-dip-chocolate-fudge brownies!!"

Tomoyo and Syaoran looked at each other, highly confused.

~*~-----End-----~*~

Haha, poor Sakura ^_^;   Poor Kero-chan too.  I'm mean.  I gave Sakura-chan a horrible birthday present.  ^^;; Well, actually, my birthday fic to her was posted yesterday (My Heart Is Telling Me So).  Go read! No one's reviewing that story, and I worked so hard on it!

Writing humor fics is fun.  Please please please please please review!  It's been scientifically proven that the more reviews I get, the more quickly I write other stories! ^_~

Email: goldenapple99@yahoo.com


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